Monday, June 27, 2011

I've lost my creative.

I used to be really creative.  I'm not sure if that's the word I'm looking for, but it's going to have to work for now...because I cannot find my words.  
I used to write poems as a child, and then later, when I learned how to play guitar and took voice lessons (Thanks, Mom!), I wrote songs.  I wrote songs ALL the time.  It was constant. They were just pouring out of me; I couldn't even control it.  Sometimes I think it's because I'm happy (Thanks Bryan!), because it's so much easier to write sad songs than happy songs.
Sometimes I think it's because other than summer, I don't have any time to myself to just think and be me.  Teaching and directing take a LOT out of me creatively (and otherwise ;), so I think my brain doesn't make the connections to the world/life like it used to.
It's not that I haven't tried to write (or sing and play guitar for that matter), because I have.  I get frustrated very easily and I give up. 
Sometimes I'll have an idea or a thought that would be perfect, but by the time I can write it down or do something about it, it's gone.
I feel like I've lost a part of myself and I want it back.  I feel like there has to be a happy medium.  It was always so much fun and I got so much out of it.
That's kind of why I started blogging (and we all see how very good I am at keeping THIS going) maybe find my creative again.
Here's to trying!

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