Taking care of myself

I still haven't figured it out.

I take care of my skin.  I always use lotion, eye rollers, creams.  I wash my face in the morning and before I go to bed.
I use sunscreen daily (on my face, anyway), and on my legs, arms and chest when I run.

But do I really take care of myself on the inside, mentally and physically?
I've been under so much stress lately.  My stomach feels sick all the time. ALL.  I have a little stress ball in my stomach on the regular.  I'm anxious and agitated constantly.  

Stress and colder weather make me want to eat poorly, so I do. I crave junk food.  Typically, I start out in the morning okay...with a yogurt (if I remember to eat or make time to...issue number 1!). 
But it's downhill from there. If I'm at work from around 7:00 AM (typical, or even a bit earlier) and I have to stay later than 5:00 PM (it happens more often than I'd like to admit...and yet, teachers have such bad reps!), I will want to hit up the vending machine.  Usually doritos, cheetos, or cheez-its. So bad.  I need salty snacks!  It's my craving.  If people have a candy jar and I have to walk past it?  Look out.
I only bring a sandwich (turkey on wheat with a slice of reduced fat cheese), an apple or other fruit, and triscuts.  Should I have more with me?  Even if I do, I guess, it's to the vending machine I go.

I gain and lose the same 6 or so pounds every year. I try to lose it in the summer because I hate the way I look, and I do okay until the week of the first show, and then I stop working out and eat everything that's not nailed down (only if it's terribly processed).

The thing is, I know it's bad for me, but I can't seem to stop!

When I get home from work, I'm too tired to work out, so I don't...knowing full well that if I just DID IT, I would feel so much better.  But I don't.
I do run on occasion. I often start out the week well.  I'm the slowest runner you'll ever meet, but I do it.  Today, we didn't run because B has a sinus infection.  I could still (and I may go at least walk on the treadmill).  I'm too afraid to run alone.  I won't have time Tuesday, so I'm sure I'll just throw in the towel for the week.  I want to look good for our vacation coming up, but more importantly, I want to feel good. I want to feel good about myself like I did when I was 110...even 120!  I'd have to lose 6 pounds just to get to 125. (That's the 6 pounds I gain and lose each year).  I know it doesn't even seem like that much weight, but to me, it is.  If I gained 6 pounds each year and didn't lose?  That's so bad for my health.  (Also, this has nothing to do with others. This is just about me.)

I want to feel good about myself.  I REALLY want to be healthy and take care of myself.  But how?  I don't have a fridge close to my classroom, and drinking enough water daily means I'm doing the potty dance halfway through class each class!  On days like Tuesday, when I have a meeting at 7:00 AM, another meeting after school, and then awards night at 7:00 PM (until around 9:00 PM), I can't go home and make dinner and relax and eat well.  I'll be stressed all day. I'll make poor choices.
I'm not trying to make excuses.  People do it all the time. They eat well. They make time for themselves.
I just don't know how or where to start.

This is me. In a nutshell. I'm a pretty big nut.

• I am not profound, nor am I as smart as I hope to be.
• Often, I feel I will need a dictionary next to me to read your book. Or understand you. Or anything.
• My brother is a genius. I've spent my life trying to catch up.
• I don't remember nearly as much as I want to. Mostly because I just don't care that much about things that I know truly aren't that important.
• I crave appreciation for my efforts, even if I screw up 95% of the time. Damn it, I TRY. And I try hard.
• A simple thank you or any show of gratitude if so much appreciated. So much.
• I fancy myself a writer, but I doubt I'll ever be published.
• I fancy myself an actress, though I doubt I'll ever perform on stage again.
• I fancy myself a singer, but see above.
• My dreams have fallen by the wayside for consistency.  Probably not stability, because Education is definitely not stable.
• I want to be a writer, singer, performer. (See above)
• My cat Steve appreciates me more than most humans will. But it's probably just because I feed him and let him sleep in my lap.
• I don't think I'll ever figure out how other people NOT doing things (anything) is MY fault.  You can lead a horse to water...
• The more I have to do, the worse I am at doing it.
• The more I see people living their dreams, the more I see mine slipping away.
• Shoes and clothes (and make up. and nail polish) are my weakness. But I'm not shallow.
• I care too much (even though my favorite thing to say to people is, "Ask me if I care. No. Really. Ask me."
• I love reading, but I never have time. On my list? Finish "I Was Told There'd be Cake" Start "Dust to Dust."
• Napping is one of my favorite things ever. EVER. A nap can make most things better. Especially when taken with cats.
• Any military homecoming video makes me cry. Especially one with animals.
• I'm 33 and I STILL don't know if I want kids.
• I'm pretty selfish. (See the naps bullet)
• It doesn't matter what time I go to bed. If allowed, I will sleep until 9:00 AM. Over spring break, I slept for 10 hours a night...and took a nap almost every day. Sleep and me? BFFs.
• I would be an excellent personal shopper.
• Or buyer.
• Target? I'm looking at you. 
• I love editing papers. Can I edit books from home?
• My to-do list takes up an entire legal pad page. And that's just the things I remember.
• My mom's goal is to organize me this summer. She has ordered me 12 green packing crates. 
• I hope it works.
• Beach vacations are the way to go.  I love learning, but I love drinking relaxing more.
• I think I would be an excellent stand-in on a movie set.
• I HATE my nose. HATE.
• But I pretend I'm okay with it, and then have to pretend more when others cross a line because I pretend to be okay with it.
• I am horribly un-photogenic.
• I'm pretty sure I'll never be happy with how I look. (Vanity.)
• I have BIG dreams/plans, but a much bigger reality button. BIG.
• I give my cat cranberry pills twice a day and wet food with powder capsules every day to keep bladder infections at bay. I can't stand thinking of him sitting at the vet for days in a cage, so I treat him myself. He's playing again :). And totally worth it.
• I pretty much never fit in.
• I don't have an iPhone.
• Or an iPad.
• I do, however, have an iPod (Thanks to my husband). :)
• Most of the music I "like" now has been heard on commercials first.
• I LOVE running even though I'm terribly slow.
• I'm not competitive. Not even with myself.

I suppose that's enough for now!

Happy almost Wednesday!

Scotch Scotch Scotch. I love Scotch.

I really don't. But that's what popped into my head as a title, so we'll just go with it.
I do love Anchorman, though. :)
Here is another list post for you. I can't promise any pictures, because I haven't taken any. Oops.  Boring blogger am I.

• This week I have something to do every day after school (well, work. I teach, so school=work).
• This does not include grading papers or anything.
• I have practice for a talent competition (I'm not in it, my students are).
• Drama tryouts Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday
• My brother's birthday is Wednesday (Happy Birthday, Aaron! I know you don't read this!)
• The talent competition is Thursday. An hour away from my school. Other schools are dropping like flies, so there are only 10 competitors now. 8 get to go in the traveling show.
• I'm going to a baby shower on Saturday.
• I had a migraine all day Saturday.  It continued into this morning, but appears to be gone now. I'm trying not to move my head so it doesn't come back (crazy? yes. but it hurts).
• I'm already tired and it's only Sunday.
• The good news is I ordered not one but TWO pairs of Chuck Taylors. I'm so excited!

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=21498100

I ordered these mint ones from UO and grey ones from Kohls.  I hope they fit. 

:)

I can't figure out how to post the picture, and let's be fair...I'm just too lazy. :)

• It's so sunny here today, I can barely stand it (in a good way). 
• It has rain EVERY day since last Sunday. Poured.  I haven't seen the sun in a week.
• It's supposed to rain all this week, too.
• It's only 35 degrees right now.  I want to run outside (because today is the only day we can due to the cold, rainy weather)...I'm going to wait til it reaches the high of 47 to do so.
• Anyone else still experiencing winter? I'm so jealous of everyone who has temps above 40 right now.  
• I'm feeling a bit desperate. :)

Anything fun going on with you guys this week? I hope you get to relax more than me.

Enough whining! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Back to the grind..

...at least for about 9 more weeks! Then it's summer break!
Not that you'd know from the weather we've been having.
It still says flurries in the forecast for later in the week...I still have hopes that it will warm up.  I'm about ready to lose my mind.

This will be a random post all about things on my mind lately! :)

• I did my hair "natural" today.
• This means I didn't straighten it--I scrunched it with this:

Found here: http://www.nymbrands.com/products/beach-babe

I got mine at Ulta.  So far, so good. I like it, and I'm able to be lazy with my hair. Win/Win.

• I finally got to run outside again today. It was still freezing, but not as bad as it has been.  
• I hate bundling up to run.
• I'm jealous of all of you that don't ever have to.
• I'm VERY slow.
• I have no internal drive to be faster.
• I'm absolutely not competitive.
• I need new running shoes.  Any favorites?
• I'm tired of being a worrier. 
• I worry about things I cannot possibly change...mostly because other people worry about said things.
• Silly things that will probably change anyway.
• I don't like when people who do not understand things make the rules.
• I have SO much to do when I get back to work.
• I'm just going to get to as much as I can each day and not stress about it. Nothing is pressing and HAS to be done immediately, so I'll get to everything when I get to it.
• I'm excited to paint my nails and toenails! 
• We can finally wear sandals again at work (I'm aware it's still freezing...I don't care as long as I don't have to wear tights)
• This is the color I'm going to paint my toenails:

It's China Glaze Flying Dragon :).

• Finger nails:

China Glaze Flip Flop Fantasy

Both images from Amazon :).

I purchased mine at Ulta.

Okay, well, I'm starving, and you're probably bored.

Time for grocery shopping!

Have a great week!

Gretchen

Nail Files--Neon!

I was feeling the need for bright and springy this week, so when my mom and I went shopping (Ulta, obviously), I was excited to see this neon pink! :)  (So much so, that I made my husband go back with me yesterday to get more...this time, China Glaze!)

This is Orly Oh Cabana Boy! :)  I LOVE it and the picture doesn't do it justice...it's a great neon pink :).

Happy Spring and Happy Easter!

Don't forget to link up!

Nail Files--Spring Colors!

This week I needed some spring colors, so I went with two Sally Hansen shades: Coral Reef and Deep Purple as my accent nail.  I know all eight year olds will be jealous. ;)

Don't forget to link up, even if you're late (again) like me!

Nail Files...Late again! :)

I'm a day late! Sorry! :)  

I typically paint my nails Sunday night for the week, but this week we had Monday off, so I painted them then :).

Zoya doesn't disappoint! :)  (But my polish application does! :).

This is Zoya's Noot (a Greenish grey?) and Essie's Beyond Cozy as an accent nail.

I'm craving bright and springy colors again, so who knows what color this week will bring! :)

Don't forget to link up! (Even though I'm late!)